Road Rage @Starbucks Castleton
While on a coffee run to Starbucks, I met the newly anointed, “#StarbucksKaren”. Trying to locate the drive through, I nearly missed the hard to see unmarked entrance that serpentines around to their takeout menu. Needed to back up 2ft. to make the turn. Checked my mirror, noted a car behind me and gestured to the driver that I was backing up. I saw that I had enough room to maneuver but, wanted to make sure that the other driver knew my intent. Kindness eluded the moment.
So, with backup lights, rear view mirror and camera on, supported by a slow roll backwards to demonstrate intent, something clicked within the driver. At that point, up from the deep recesses of her mind, stubbornness and meanness entwined and morphed into an “I don’t give a damn about you” moment to behold. You could see the physical manifestation, the change from human to Orc. She didn’t want to acknowledge or accede to my intent. So, tailgating "Karen" morphed before my very eyes and refused to back up; and with weight and force, leaned into getting her blaring horn work in. She then let loose with a banshee level, yell and scream that put the rebel yell to shame. And, then she took it to another level…she noticed the telephone number on my truck…she called my "office" to complain. The call went direct to the boss’ office”…and I answered, “Good morning, Green With Indy…how may I help you? And that’s when the fun began.
The lies were big and almost fantastical in how I “almost ran her off the road”, blocked her from making a turn and add insult to injury, I “flipped her off”! None of that happened. That’s when I yelled, “Stop lying…I know you are lying”… I am sitting in front of you”! You are a lying piece of compost or something to that effect. And, then came…”Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you today?”
I hang up the phone to place my order and calmly modulate my voice, so as not to scare the *&!$! out of the barrista. Decided to call “#starbuckskaren” back. Through my mirror I can see her pick up the phone and bowels loosen when she realizes it’s me! Time stood still, three seconds…a frozen moment when you feel untethered to space or time continuum. She wouldn’t answer and sent my call to voicemail!
Epilogue:
I pull up to collect my drink and the cashier tells me that the women behind me had paid for it. Cathartic relief achieved.
So, let’s recap:
A. She decided against accommodation.
B. She attempted to get me in trouble or fired at my company.
C. She realizes she got caught in a bald lie.
D. She also realizes that I have her cell phone number, right in front of her.
E. She has a change in attitude and offers peace.
F. We can only speculate as to why.
What if she/we buy each other a cuppa? “E.” would have done both of us some good.